bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
