it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
