I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
