I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize