from now on my penis is your penis
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
