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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dude you has no fucking this poptart

  (719): View more from Colorado

  What?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I dont know to explain this.

  Fav 35 7090 1829

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl

  Fav 24 1244 6726

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin

  Fav 3 3332 1344

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you

  Fav 3 4108 1077

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• (727): View more from Florida

  There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.

  Fav 8 1259 2619

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories

  Fav 6 2075 958

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.

  Fav 3 2312 918

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch

  Fav 15 2572 870

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here

  Fav 7 1616 658

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.

  Fav 2 956 496

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.

  Fav 4 529 473

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.

  Fav 0 271 126

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• (845): View more from New York

  If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem

  Fav 1 151 154

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• (718): View more from New York

  I licked your asshole in confidence.

  Fav 5 71 31

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom

  Fav 0 46 35

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