I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize