No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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