Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
