areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
