judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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