Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
