I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
