I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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