So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
