dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
