He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
