Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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