Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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