Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
