oh god the rape fog is back!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
