Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
