so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I am one with the molecules
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
