Got a toothbrush?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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