90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just pee around me
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
