i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
