why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
