I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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