Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
