it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
