So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
