I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
