Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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