Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
