hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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