I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
did i just pee glitter
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
