i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The best revenge is premature balding
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
