Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
