that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
