dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
