At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
