Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
