I think I died a long time ago.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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