I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
