Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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