You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She announced her abortion via fbk
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
