For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
