There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
