bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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