I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so let's talk penis.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
