Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We have started to decorate penises.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
