i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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