I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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