I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
