What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
