We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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