Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
