I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize