Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I love having hate sex.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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